Into The West
by ShyeMyst
Summary: It was the one thing that Greg never thought he would have to do in his life. He stood there and looked at the people crying and he knew it was real. Hints at Slash NickGreg pairing. CHARACTER DEATH.
1. Typical Day in the Life

A/N: This is told as spoken. the speaker is Greg Sanders. The lines inside the ( - ) are the happenings of Greg at the funeral. Please take the time to let me know what you think about it. -Mys

**Into The West  
**By: Mys  
Rating: PG13  
Warnings: Violence, Character Death

--

Chapter One:  
_The Typical Day In the Life_

--

_**Lay down your sweet and weary head.  
Night is falling you have come to journey's end.  
Sleep now dream of the once who came before.  
From across a distant shore.**_

(Stepping on the podium, he took a deep breath, and gave a small glance around. The room was shrouded in black and grays. "Thank you all for being here," he greeted the gathered crowd. He took one last breath and began.)

Everybody always thought I hated waking up in the mornings. They were wrong. I loved waking up. It was my favorite part of the day. See, Nick would always wrap his arm protectively around me and hold me close. I loved to lye in his arms and listen to his heart beat.

He would wake up, and pull me close and press his lips gently to my temple. I would smile and said I loved him. He'd roll out of bed, and pull the covers off me. I would gripe about it, as he sashayed towards the bathroom and tossed a pillow my way.

Though, few would know it, but he had his quirky moments. It's a shame that so little people ever saw that side of Nick. He was always like that though. He would always hide who he truly was. It was a shame that no one knew he was capable of playing such playful games.

I would follow him into the bathroom and join him for a shower. I don't think I need to get into that, but it was one of the several things that made waking up with Nick so grand.

We'd go to work, sometimes together, sometimes separately. He would always play our relationship down around his coworkers, but they always suspected with the way he would look at me. He always did look awestruck when he gazed at me through the windows at the lab.

(He wiped a tear from his eye, and gazed around the room. He noticed Sara sitting in the front row, with a white tissue pressed against her nose, and tears streaked down her pale cheek. Greg tried to reassure her with his eyes, yet he was unable to make the connection.)

You know, Nick was always a very private individual. He wouldn't say much. Whenever he did say something, people listened. He never wasted his time with non important things. Whatever he said something, it was straight to the point, heartfelt, and exactly what he meant to say. Even though he kept his life private, it never took anyone long to figure out what he was about. What you saw was what you got.

There were times that weren't so pleasant to be around him, but I would always find a way to get him to crack a smile. I would pull some antic that everyone would cringe at and yet, there Nick stood in the middle of the hall wearing a smile as big as Texas. I always tried to brighten his day. Seeing that smile always made my day. It made it worth it. I always thought he took things too seriously.

We always arrived back home at strange hours of the day. I'd race him to the house, and wait for him anxiously on the couch, the PlayStation's controller in my hand. He would walk through that door, and I took pleasure in seeing all that stress he carried for work melt away. That Texas smile would spread across his face at the sight of me. You all know the one. Nick's smile could always light up a room. He'd take a seat next to me and we played some video games.

The days would always wrap up, with him cooking dinner. If you asked, he would've denied it, but he really was a great cook. Again, a talent he only really shared with anyone except for me.

On most nights, we would both drift to sleep snuggled close in each other's arms.

(He sighed, inwardly still thinking about the man he loved. The man he was there to help lay to rest. He closed his brown eyes and took another deep breath.)

I will always treasure all the little things Nick would do for me. I would come home, worn down and tired and I'd walk inside our place to find he spontaneously bought me a few dozen roses. I will always remember the way he would always think of me first. My love for him will continue to live on through the memories of him. I know I will always remember the way he touched my life.

(He stood there silently for a few moments and watched the listening audience through teary eyes. "I would like you all to take a few moments and tell your neighbors how Nick Stokes has touched your life." Greg stood back from the podium and listened to the chatter of the audience. Seeing them sharing their experiences with Nick touched his heart deeply. It pleased him to know how many people whose lives were truly touched by Nick. He loved to hear them retelling their stories of Nick and keeping his memory alive. Now, Nick would only live in the memories of those who knew him best.)

_**Why do you weep?  
What are these tears upon your face?  
Soon you will see, all of your fears will pass away.  
Safe in my arms, you're only sleeping**_.

To Be Continued...


	2. Day of Shattered Glass

Into the West Continued

--

Chapter Two:  
_The Day of Shattered Glass_

--

_**What can you see on the horizon?  
Why do the white gulls call?  
Across the sea a pale moon rises.  
The ships have come to carry you home**_.

(He placed his hands in the air, and the audience silenced their stories of Nick. He took another deep breath, and shut his eyes. _'I can do this_.' He told himself inwardly. With one last deep breath, and a blow of his nose he continued.)

This service is not about mourning Nick's death. It is about celebrating his life.

(Greg paused for a few moments and looked around. Grissom caught his eye and gave him a supportive nod of approval. He took another breath finding the strength to continue on.)

But... all life must come to an end. I think it is important not only to know how Nick lived, but also how he died. Several people may have heard the rumors swirling around, and yet little know what actually happened. I will speak briefly about my experiences, and about what happened that day.

("Please bear with me." He spoke to the audience and wiped a stray tear from his eyes. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Warrick Brown leaning against the back wall. It meant a lot to see him at the service. Greg wasn't sure he would be there. Warrick gave him a brief smile and he looked down on his notes and continued to forge on.)

"I love you," he whispered to my ear and pecked me goodbye on the cheek. I told him I loved him as well, and walked in the building. There wasn't much work to do, so I just worked on some back logged paperwork, and continued my semi flirtatious actions with Sara. I never did it to land a date with her. Really, without Nick there, I needed someone to cheer up.

(Sara lipped something in the distance, and Greg smiled.)

One thing about Nick, he was always predictable. It was a Monday night. I knew he was going to go to the grocery store. He always did the shopping on Monday nights, and I knew it was on the way home.

I had just finished up with some paperwork when Grissom walked in carrying the infamous manila case folder. He told me there was a hostage situation at a nearby grocery store. At the time, I thought nothing of it, there were certainly was not a lack of food stores in the greater Las Vegas area. It never occurred to me that this could've been the same store that Nick was at.

"Which store?" I choked out, a lump rose in my throat.

The store that left his mouth made me sick to my stomach. It was the same one Nick always went to, the one he was going to go to after he dropped me off. My knees grew weak and Grissom caught me and asked if I was all right. My vision blurred as I could see nothing other than my heart shattering into a thousand pieces. It felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut and wouldn't let me breathe. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him to be with him in the end. Yet, there I stood in the break room, silenced by the breaking news report tears streaming down my face.

The news reporter spoke of the situation and the little they knew. All they knew was they were being held at gunpoint. A breath caught in my throat as I watched with dread knowing my lover, my everything was inside that building.

"We do not know the condition of the people held captive at this time." The reporter stated.

Before I could stop myself I left the crime lab building and went as fast as I could to the grocery store where my beloved had gone only a mere hour ago.

A small crowd had gathered around the place, and crime tape was placed around the parameter of the building. A helicopter circled overhead spotlight pointed at the door, and SWAT waited to enter.

The SWAT team entered and the man open fired, and robbed us of precious years we could've spent with our loved ones. Let us remember them, pray for their families as you pray for Nick's family. For their families are mourning today of their fallen loved ones.

After the event was over, we watched the surveillance tape of the scene. It was a horrible scene.

(Greg paused to take another deep breath. It still haunted him, and would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life.)

He striped them all of their pride, and dignity, had them sitting on their knees in the nude facing him with their hands on their heads.

(More tears escaped Greg's eyes.)

Something went wrong, and he just.

(He couldn't hold the tears back any longer as they ran freely down his face.)

He just, shot them all. He shot fifty, sixty rounds sometimes into each of the seventeen customers and the nine employees of the store.

I will always remember the last image I have of Nick. He was with the others on his knees his hands on his head, but when the gun discharged, it wasn't his wellbeing he was concerned for. It was the wellbeing of a five-year-old little girl. The last image I have of my love and it is a memory I will always cherish.

(Greg swallowed hard.)

Thanks to Nick's efforts, that little girl, survived. I ask you to pray for that little girl. She's in critical condition at the Desert palms hospital and could use some help from above.

It gives me some comfort to know that my lover, my husband, my pride, my soul, my friend, my coworker, my companion, and my everything died a hero. He did everything he could to save that little girl's life, so she could have a chance in living. Her life had barely begun, and to know that it was because of Nick Stokes that she was able to live I gain comfort in knowing that.

But, that was the kind of guy that Nick was. He was the kind of guy to lay down his life to save someone else's.

It's okay to feel anger. It's okay to feel grief and anguish and all the emotions you all are feeling out there. I'm feeling them too. It hurts, knowing when I go home, I won't have him to hold me close at night and make my pain go away. It hurts knowing that we will never see our justice because he robbed us of seeing him punished for the horrible crimes he committed. But it isn't in hate that we will find ourselves again. It is in  
forgiveness and remembering that we learn to move on, that we learn to walk  
again, to face this life. I ask you to forgive Mr. LaFayante to send your heart's your soul's to ease.

(Tears flowed freely down Greg's face. He never even tried to stop them from rolling off his cheeks and onto the floor. The people in the room, cried in agony, and hugged their loved ones as they clung to each other for support. Nick did touch a lot of lives and this was the day they sent him to rest.)

_**Dawn will turn to silver glass.  
A light on the water all souls pass.  
Hope fades into the world of night.  
Through shadows falling out of memory and time**_.

To Be Continued


	3. Hearts Laid To Rest

Into the West

--

Chapter Three  
_The Day Hearts Laid to Rest_

--

_**Don't say we have come now to the end.  
White shores are calling.  
**__**You and I will meet again.  
And you'll be here in my arms just sleeping**_.

(Greg thanked the people from coming and excused himself from the podium, as they began the slideshow of Nick's life. He took his seat at the front row, where Catherine was quick to pull him in her arms and he just cried.

The service concluded with the priest's prayer, and the pallbearers marched his flag draped casket out to the gray cemetery. Outside there was a media frenzy. There always was when a public servant dies, and especially one as special as Nick. Greg tried to ignore the flashing of the bulbs as they proceeded to march his lifeless lover to the open grave under the old oak tree.

A knot caught in Greg's throat as the honorary twenty-one gun salute fired into the distance. They lowered the casket to its final resting place.

"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust." Greg tossed the first handful of earth onto the varnished box. People gave him their condolences, and told him their experience with Nick. It meant a lot to him, more than they could ever know to hear how Nick impacted their lives. He cried, and they cried until there was not a tear more to shed. It was a day of solace and ends, as well as beginnings.

The grave was covered, with a mound of earth. The passing people gently placed crimson roses atop of the mound with care and a prayer.

He sat alone at Nick's grave, saying goodbye to him one last time. His heart ached for his touch, his smell, his smile, and that loving laugh he rarely shared. His mind drifted back to the days where he'd run home into Nick's waiting arms to play a video game or only to make out for hours. Greg wished he had one more night with Nick, to share a rose scented bubble bath and to share a few more laughs.

He placed his crimson rose over Nick's grave and left with tears still fresh on his eyes.)

A week passed, and Greg was unable to function. He couldn't take care of himself he hurt so badly. He hadn't shaved or bathed, he was a filthy mess. He couldn't sleep his heart ached for his love. By the end of the week he had locked himself inside that room and closed himself off from the world. Nick haunted him, the memories. He tried to push them to the side, but everywhere he looked he was reminded of the man he loved.

A month went by, and his coworkers were really starting to worry about his wellbeing. They tried to comfort him, soothe him. They even tried to invite him to join them for coffee, but Greg wanted no part of it. He had lost the will to live. Every night he would go back to his house and cry to the memory of Nick.

A gentle knock sounded at the door, and Greg rushed to answer it, to find Sara Sidle waiting at the other end. Her eyes were sad, concerned even to see Greg in such a state. She looked around, and saw that nothing had been moved, nothing was changed. There was a pile of dishes in the sink, and a trashcan full of old take out boxes. Greg hadn't removed any of Nick's from the house.

"Greg, you can't live like this." She informed him and stepped inside against his will.

"It's my life Sara, I can live it how I please." Greg snapped back fighting to hold back the tears.

"You're a mess." She tried to approach him, but he backed away as a scared puppy. "Let us help you. Please, Greg." She begged.

Slowly, he took her outstretched hand and accepted her hug. "All right," he answered.

Together the two started cleaning and cleansing Greg's house of Nick. One item after another, Nick was slowly leaving the house. Pictures of the two of them at the beach or skiing, or just at home were placed in a crate. Another crate was used for clothes. The bedding was tossed out, the house was sanitized and cleaned from top to bottom, until Nick was gone and it was only Greg left.

The entire time, he cried an agonizing tormented sound of pure pain escaped his lips. Sara held him close, comforted him, soothed him the best she was able. Seeing this, she began to understand just how much Nick had meant to him. She had known that he wasn't handling this so well, but she never knew he was handling it this badly. If she had only known she would've been there so much sooner.

After hours, and hours, the house was cleared and Nick's stuff taken to storage for Greg to sort through later if he wished. He thanked her for her time and watched her drive off into the distance. He stood there ready to move on with his life without Nick.

He stepped into the bathroom and stopped stunned to find fingerprints left on the bathroom mirror. A tear struck his eye as he looked at the fingerprints left on the glass. He always did it to annoy Greg and would laugh when he would quickly clean them off the reflective surface. He must've forgotten to remove the annoying prints from the morning before Nick died. He took the damp rag in his hand to remove them from the reflective glass. Yet, at the last moment he stopped himself.

"I think I will leave these here." He said softly and gently set the rag down and picked up the razor. It was time he moved on with his life. It was time he stopped living in the past. It was time for him to realize that Nick wasn't going to come back. It had finally sunk in that Nick was dead and he was not coming back.

_**And all will turn to silver glass.  
A light on the water Grey ships pass.  
Into the west**_.

--

La Fine


End file.
